Seth Rogen Placed on Olympic Gymnastics Team as Part of Marketing Deal for Pineapple Express
August 10, 2008 0 Comments
Stoner icon Seth Rogen will participate in the Olympics as a member of the United States Olympic Gymnastics team. As part of a marketing partnership with Sony Pictures, the United States Olympic Committee agreed to place Rogen, 26, on the team as a replacement for the Hamm brothers.
According to United States Olympic Committee chairman Peter Ueberroth, the USOC was looking for help reaching the male 18-34 year old demographic. “Our focus groups indicated that 18-34 year old males don’t care about the Olympics. This group does not identify with ninety pound 18 year olds competing in sports like Rythmic Gymnastics.” He added.
Nielsen Net Ratings reports that .0000001% of 18-34 year old U.S. males identify themselves as “having any interest in watching even one minute of gymnastics under any circumstances”.
The same study revealed that 99% of 18-34 year old men identify with “Marijuana use and/or over-eating”.
Despite being almost a foot too tall and eighty pounds overweight, Rogen will compete against the world’s best pummel horse and floor routine athletes.
“I’m wicked high” said Rogen. “The Olympics will be a great place for me to overcome the odds as a lovable stoner who gets the girl or helps the other guy get the girl or get out of trouble ” Added Rogen.
“I cant wait for the borderline homo-erotic buddy plot-lines where the team can show their endearing vulnerabilities to each other and somehow find a way to ‘win’, even if ‘winning’ means something other than a gold medal, like escaping hotel security or watching an adult movie” gushed US men’s gymnastics coach Kevin Mazeika.
Filed Under: Gymnastics, Olympics
Comments
seth rogen is canadian
You just got burned, hard. I laughed at this article because it was pretty witty but then I read this: Anonymous // August 11, 2008 at 5:37 am seth rogen is canadian Seriously. How did you not notice this prior to writing the article?!
We know Seth Rogen is Canadian. The satire comments on the absurdity of the all encompassing scale of marketing the Olympics and Seth Rogen now represent. Any rule can be circumvented for the purpose of selling the product. That Rogen is Canadian and on the US team emphasizes this irony, as he is Canadian.