Chinese Gymnast’s Age Questioned After Umbilical Cord Gets Caught on Balance Beam

August 15, 2008 0 Comments

The International Olympic Community is in outrage today, demanding that the International Olympic Committee investigate the Chinese Gymnastics team after a gymnast’s umbilical cord caused an accident during the Women’s individual medal round.

Jiang Yuyuan, aged “16″, was executing an ambitious Rulfova maneuver when what appeared to be her umbilical cord escaped from her leotard and became entangled around the beam.

“It was freakin’ nasty,” said US Men’s gymnast Seth Rogen, who was watching from the sidelines.

The Chinese should be using normal four foot tall seventy-pound sixteen year olds like everybody else” opined USA Gymnastics team coordinator Marta Karoyli.

“This is an outrageous violation of the rule mandating that all gymnasts be at least sixteen years old. They flout the rules and the International Gymnastics Federation and International Olympic Comittee dont do anything” continued Karolyi.

China denied that Jiang was indeed a very flexible infant, despite other evidence such as her diet of breast milk and that she wore a diaper.

“We already explained this very clearly,” Chinese official Zhang Hongliang said. “There’s no need to discuss this thing again.”

Compounding the controversy was that Jiang was awarded a perfect score, even though she didn’t even finish her routine, and was motionless on the ground for three minutes.