Jason Varitek’s Wife Actually Filed For Divorce Because He Can’t Hit a Fastball

September 11, 2008 No Comments

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Official legal documents were acquired today which stated the details of the separation between Boston Red Sox catcher, Jason Varitek, and his wife, Karen. 

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Filed Under:  Boston Red Sox, MLB

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Michael Phelps Finally Allowed Out of the Pool…Discovers Women

September 5, 2008 2 Comments

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Filed Under:  Olympics, Swimming

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Source of Pink-Eye Outbreak in Olympic Athlete Village Identified

August 31, 2008 No Comments

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An Olympic mystery was solved late last night as Chinese Public Health officials successfully identified the source of a conjunctivitis or “pink-eye” epidemic that spread throughout the Olympic Athlete Village.  

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Filed Under:  Olympics

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GOP Vice Presidential Candidate, Sarah Palin,…Plus, Retro Sports Minute

August 31, 2008 2 Comments

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Filed Under:  Uncategorized

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Teen Lesbian Orgy Breaks Out at Olympics

August 19, 2008 No Comments

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Filed Under:  Gymnastics, Olympics

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NY Mets’ Billy Wagner Injures Elbow While Rubbing One Out to Photos of David Wright’s Girlfriend

August 19, 2008 No Comments

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It is being reported this evening that NY Mets’ All-Star closer, Billy Wagner (seen above in an undated photo) is out indefinitely due to pain and swelling in his pitching elbow.  ”It’s in the elbow, it’s in the tendon,” Mets’ general manager Omar Minaya said.

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Filed Under:  MLB, New York Mets

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Girlfriend Of New York Mets’ David Wright Enough To Jerk Off To

August 19, 2008 No Comments

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After a thorough review by a nine-member panel at the New York City Civilian Review Board yesterday, it was ruled by a 6-3 margin that New York Mets’ third baseman, David Wright’s girlfriend, Molly Beers, has enough positive qualities to jerk off to.

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Filed Under:  MLB, New York Mets

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Chinese Men’s Basketball Team Contracts Genital Herpes Just to Mock Spaniards

August 16, 2008 No Comments

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In retaliation for the inappropriate “slanty eyes” team photo of Spain’s men’s basketball team, each member of the Chinese men’s basketball team has contracted genital herpes, which is a traditional rite of passage for all young males in Spain.

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Filed Under:  Basketball, NBA, Olympics

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Chinese Gymnast’s Age Questioned After Umbilical Cord Gets Caught on Balance Beam

August 15, 2008 No Comments

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The International Olympic Community is in outrage today, demanding that the International Olympic Committee investigate the Chinese Gymnastics team after a gymnast’s umbilical cord caused an accident during the Women’s individual medal round.

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Filed Under:  Gymnastics, Olympics

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Chinese Olympic Cycling Team Penalized Two Minutes for Forgetting Extra Hot Sauce

August 14, 2008 No Comments

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The Chinese Men’s Olympic Cycling team suffered a devastating blow to their gold medal chances after being assessed a controversial penalty late last night. Two full minutes will be added to their final time in the Men’s Team Sprint qualifier, as team captain Zhang Lei failed to include a requested additional small plastic container of hot chili sauce in his delivery to the judges.

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Filed Under:  Cycling, Olympics

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