Posts Tagged ‘Olympics’
Source of Pink-Eye Outbreak in Olympic Athlete Village Identified
August 31, 2008 No Comments
An Olympic mystery was solved late last night as Chinese Public Health officials successfully identified the source of a conjunctivitis or “pink-eye” epidemic that spread throughout the Olympic Athlete Village.
Filed Under: Olympics
Chinese Men’s Basketball Team Contracts Genital Herpes Just to Mock Spaniards
August 16, 2008 No Comments
In retaliation for the inappropriate “slanty eyes” team photo of Spain’s men’s basketball team, each member of the Chinese men’s basketball team has contracted genital herpes, which is a traditional rite of passage for all young males in Spain.
Filed Under: Basketball, NBA, Olympics
Chinese Gymnast’s Age Questioned After Umbilical Cord Gets Caught on Balance Beam
August 15, 2008 No Comments
The International Olympic Community is in outrage today, demanding that the International Olympic Committee investigate the Chinese Gymnastics team after a gymnast’s umbilical cord caused an accident during the Women’s individual medal round.
Filed Under: Gymnastics, Olympics
Chinese Olympic Cycling Team Penalized Two Minutes for Forgetting Extra Hot Sauce
August 14, 2008 No Comments
The Chinese Men’s Olympic Cycling team suffered a devastating blow to their gold medal chances after being assessed a controversial penalty late last night. Two full minutes will be added to their final time in the Men’s Team Sprint qualifier, as team captain Zhang Lei failed to include a requested additional small plastic container of hot chili sauce in his delivery to the judges.
Korean Gymnast Loses Virginity During Pommel Horse Routine
August 10, 2008 No Comments
Olympic history was made today when Kim Park Lo became a woman while competing in the pommel horse. The eighteen year old gymnast was successfully penetrated by the pommel horse while executing a challenging Tong Fei maneuver.
Filed Under: Gymnastics, Olympics
Seth Rogen Placed on Olympic Gymnastics Team as Part of Marketing Deal for Pineapple Express
August 10, 2008 No Comments
Stoner icon Seth Rogen will participate in the Olympics as a member of the United States Olympic Gymnastics team. As part of a marketing partnership with Sony Pictures, the United States Olympic Committee agreed to place Rogen, 26, on the team as a replacement for the Hamm brothers.
According to United States Olympic Committee chairman Peter Ueberroth, the USOC was looking for help reaching the male 18-34 year old demographic. “Our focus groups indicated that 18-34 year old males don’t care about the Olympics. This group does not identify with ninety pound 18 year olds competing in sports like Rythmic Gymnastics.” He added.
Filed Under: Gymnastics, Olympics
